You can be shattered and then you can put yourself back together piece by piece. But what can happen over time is this: You wake up one day and realize that you have put yourself back together completely differently. That you are whole, finally, and strong–but you are now a different shape, a different size.

This sort of change–the change that occurs when you sit inside your own pain–it’s revolutionary. When you let yourself die, there is suddenly one day: New life. You are different. New. And no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot fit into your old life anymore.